No one wins, no one loses

This post has been a while in the works, mostly because I have needed time to process my own emotions, as well as help the people around me with theirs.  I kept writing through the holidays, and the New Year, but didn’t post because I was too much of an emotional raw nerve.  Now I’ve had time to process things, so I’m back.

We got the answer for the custody, and while we didn’t get joint custody like we wanted, we still gained ground.  To summarize, my BF had visitation every other weekend a week in the summer, and three extra days at New Year’s.  We wanted joint custody; The Ex wanted more child support and less visitation.

We ended up with joint custody in the summer, but the rest of the year stays the same, so we end up with 4 extra weeks a year with the kids.  While it’s not what we wanted, we are still happy because 1) We get more time with the kids, and 2) A judge confirmed that my BF is a good dad, so her constant threats that she will take away his visitation rights no longer have any weight.  Also, because he will have the kids more, his child support goes down.

All in all, we take it as a win, we are further ahead than we were, and the most important part, the kids are happy with knowing that they will get more time with their dad.

All we have left now is to try and agree on which weeks each parent gets during the summer, and it’s looking like it will be decided in court.  My BF wants a fair 5 weeks each, she wants 6-4 in her favour of course, but that’s another battle.

We talked it out, and we decided not to appeal the decision, it was so hard on everyone, us, the kids, that we just aren’t ready to go through that kind of emotional wringer again right away.  We will take the win and focus on building on what we have.