Monday, February 18, 2013

Conspiracy theories

I know I’ve been MIA for a little while, but there has been an epic shift in our family dynamic.  Last week the ex started anew with her manipulation efforts.  This weekend was our weekend with the kids, and we had a bunch of stuff planned.  Monday night she calls to say that she wants the kids on Saturday for a birthday party.  We said no because we were already going to a party in another city this weekend, and we had already made the plans.  Needless to say, she wasn’t happy about not getting her way; she started going on about how was she supposed to explain it to the kids etc.  I said easy, give the phone to the oldest and I would do the explaining.  Eventually, she gave him the phone, and I barely had time to tell him our plans before he was excited.  He gave the phone back, and I said that he didn’t seem upset, and that I considered the matter closed.

After that, all this week my BF had been stressing, worried about whether she would make trouble, or worse, not be there when we go to pick up the kids.  Friday comes along, and we head to her new place, as she has moved, again.  When we got there, she was playing a ninja video game with the kids.  This from the woman who reamed us out for having similar games at our house and here she was, playing one with them.  I told her that I felt it was hypocrisy on her part, and that I didn’t want to hear any more judgement on her part for our home and what we allow.  The kids then wanted to show me their rooms, and honestly, I wanted to see.  She doesn’t have the best track record, at one point the kids were in a basement with a cement floor and 2x4s for walls.

I started in my stepdaughter’s room, and was not surprised.  No sheets on the bed, an old couch, and some toys that had spent over a year outside at the other place, now inside, but apparently not washed.  Then on to the boys.  Her whole argument for moving was to have the boys in separate rooms after the incidents during the past year.  She wanted to separate them and have better supervision.  The boys were in newly built rooms, with no doors, and no flooring.  She had put foam mats on the cement, which help with the hard floor, but do nothing for the humidity or insulation.  I turned around and saw a door to outside.  So the boys were now alone, in the basement (so no supervision) with easy access to outside without her knowing.  I think my dismay was pretty apparent on my face.  I asked her if the boys would be getting floors or doors soon, and she said that she didn’t have money for that.  I said nothing les and went upstairs.  My BF was at the door, and we got ready to go.  My BF went to get the kids in the car and I stayed to ask her one last question, had the swimming lessons been paid, because we had been approached by the instructor and it was embarrassing, and we didn’t want to repeat that experience.  She said that it was paid, but that she didn’t have a confirmation.  She then started trying to defend her playing the game and I said that I didn’t want to get into it.  Since her defence wasn’t working, she went on the offence, attacking us, and my BF saying that he never took care of the kids etc., and how I know nothing because I’ve barely been around for a year.  I told her that I’ve been around for over two years now, and that my BF takes very good care of the kids.  She then let her crazy out and said that my BF doesn’t care about the kids; it’s that my MIL and I are using him to conspire to take the kids away for ourselves.  I was taken aback; I mean what do you even say to that level of crazy.  I told her she was paranoid, that I was not trying to steal her children and that I was not going to continue this conversation.  I turned, got in the car, and pulled away while she stood, fuming, in her doorway.

This isn’t the end of the story, I’ll continue this a little later this week when I’ve had time to get my thoughts in order.

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