Wednesday, April 10, 2013

A couch...or is it more than that?

The last time I faced a fear isn’t even over with, it’s in progress, and it's to the point I am breaking out in hives.  It is a fear that most people would say i stupid, or irrational.  My fear is a couch, though I guess you could say it’s not so much the couch as what it represents.

For the past 8 years, I have had the same couch.  It’s a nice couch, very comfortable, my cousin gave it to me when I got my first apartment here.  I have spent a lot of time with that couch, and even gotten many compliments on it.  When I met my boyfriend, the first time he came over he immediatly started laughing because he had the exact same one at home.  I remember joking that it meant we were meant to be. 

When we moved to the new apartment, we decided to bring my couch, since it was in better condition.  Another important thing to note is that though we have lived together for a year and a half, we have no common possessions.  Everything is either mine or his, it’s all very cut and dry.

Then a while back we started talking about how the next thing we would like to upgrade is the couch, because as nice and comfy as it it, it’s starting to show it’s age.  We weren’t actively shopping for a replacement, but we got an offer we couldn’t refuse.  A one year old Lazyboy, in almost new condition, still under store warrenty, but for a third of the price of new.  The couch in question was even in our current colours, no no redecorating.  We discussed it, and after some creative budgeting, we said yes.

The couch gets delivered today, and I’m not ashamed to say that I had a mini panick attack last night and became suddenly, irrationally attached to my old couch.  All it took was my BF asking what we were to do with the old couch when the new one came and it hit me like a ton of bricks.  My couch would no longer be a « my couch », it would be an « our couch », half his.  It is a significant investment in our home, the first major one, as in over 50$.  For someone like me who had nothing but instability growing up, having owned the same large piece of furniture for almost a decade is in itself a big step.  I hadn’t realized it, but my couch represented a lot to me.  It was a symbol of my growing up, adulthood, reponsibility and stability. 

In just a few hours that symbol will be gone, replaced with another symbol.  A symbol of us, and our home, and our building a life together, and while that is stilla great symbol, of great things, it scares the bejeezuz out of me.

Inspired by Mama Kat’s pretty much world famous writing prompts - The last time you faced a fear

Mama’s Losin’ It


  1. Maybe you can build stilts and put your couch on top the the new joint couch? Like bunk beds. Ohhhh... then you could put it on pinterest and 800,000,000 people would pin it to their 'Get me busy" boards!!

    1. That just made me feel less crazy, thank you for that lol

  2. congratulations on facing your fear. In no time at all you'll love the new couch and what it represents. kelley—the road goes ever ever on