Saturday, March 16, 2013

Someone I talked to today

I am not by nature a patient person, though I try to be as patient as possible with the kids.  This week at the new job really took its toll on my energy levels, and patience.  Today I had a bad stepmom moment that unexpectedly turned into a reassurance moment.  I was at the grocery store with SS1 and SD, and all morning I had been hearing “my mom does…this way” from SS1.  I have a rule that I never badmouth their mom in front of them, but the constant repetition of “at mom’s house” and the such really gets on my nerves.

We were in the cereal aisle when SS1 informed me that his mom went through all of the aisles when she does the groceries, and I replied “Am I your mom?” to which he said no, and I said “then can you stop bugging me with that!”.  As soon as the words left my mouth I felt horrible.  SS1 continued on his way as if nothing happened, but I just stood there wishing I could take back my words when I realised that there was a woman behind me, which of course compounded my guilt.  Not only was I a horrible stepmom, but a stranger was probably judging me about it too.

Then she smiled, chuckled, and said “I’ve been there.”  She went on to tell me that she had 3 step kids of her own and asked me if I had any children of my own.  I told her no and she said that she didn’t have any either.  I smiled and said that it gave me hope since she seemed to have made it out alive.  She looked at me knowingly and said that hers were grown now and they have a great relationship, and that I just needed to push through and do my best and everything will work out fine, and to not be shy about teaching them my values.  I thanked her and she smiled and continued on her way.

I went from feeling horrible to hopeful, and I hope that woman realized how her kindness and understanding helped another stepmom.  The more I reach out, the more I see that the support is out there and I am not as alone as I think, not even in the cereal aisle at the grocery store.

Inspired by Mama Kat’s pretty much world famous writing prompts - Someone I talked to today
Mama’s Losin’ It


  1. I can imagine it would be a difficult situation to be in. My brother is kinda going through that now with his fiance's child...always pointing out that he's not his daddy. ((HUGS))

    Visiting from Mama Kat's.

  2. That is so nice when mothers don't judge each other. i feel like it happens so much