Monday, January 23, 2012

Goal #3 – Get back down to a decent weight

I feel fat.  There, I said it.  For the first time since I was 16, I am not OK with my body.
Although most people don’t believe me, I currently weigh just a notch under 200lbs.  I have never been one of those weight obsessed people, yo-yo dieting and constantly worrying. 

For the most part I have had an attitude of ‘’If I feel good, can wear stylish clothes still in standard sizes, and my current partner finds me attractive, then it’s all good’’.  I eat pretty well, better than most people actually.  I have been ovo-lacto vegetarian for the past 9-10 years, and don’t tend to keep pop or junk food in the house.  That is not to say that I don’t enjoy a dessert or pop when I’m out with friends or at someone’s house and I’m not a militant vegetarian who demands that people conform to her either.

My main issue is activity, or lack thereof.  I hate exercise, hate it with a passion, hate it almost as much as cleaning.  I have tried many many sports, and hated every single one of them except kickboxing, which is a pretty expensive sport, especially when you are poor and in debt.  I have just never been a person who enjoys physical activity.  Actually, that is kind of a lie, I usually enjoy it once I’m going, and I feel good after, but neither feeling is enough to make me excited about exercise.

I’ve tried a personal reward system, tracking my exercise goals with webapps, cell phone apps, you name it.  I also don’t have any friends with the same issue, so a workout buddy is hard to do. 

I think the problem was mostly that I still felt OK about my body, I still had energy, my clothes still fit, and people always commented on how I didn’t ‘’look’’ my weight.  But now we have gotten to a breaking point.  I DO NOT want to see that 200 on the scale, I want to feel decent in a bathing suit again; I want to find pants that fit.

So my goal is 5lbs per month until I reach 150lbs.  I have yet to figure out a long term plan to get motivated about exercising, but I’m going to try and start just by building a habit, 10 intense minutes per day for the next 10 days.

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